the pixies are the cause for some debate in empire records, if you remember, between ethan embry and that other guy. i first heard the pixies on a mix tape from C, my high school artist boyfriend. he collected songs that scared me--so intense in their professions of love and lust that i turned my cheek away from his eager lips. he backed off and made me a punk mix tape, which was mostly sonic youth and patti smith and other people i'd never heard of and did not appreciate until much later, when the tape played only squeaks and rumpled metallic rotations that soon ceased altogether. such is the ephemeral nature of high school love.
my sister married her high school boyfriend, after years of long distance car trips back and forth between texas colleges, passing miles and miles of pasture and outlet malls. now they own a house and two cars but no pets, other than the feral bunnies that leave spherical droppings in the yard. i expect i'll be an aunt soon, but i'm not sure i'm old enough to babysit helpless creatures that might, just a little bit, look like me.
speaking of getting older, i appreciate being born at the darkest time of the year. i am full of mystery, while the rest of creation is full of light. my horoscope says sagittarians should not to go to beijing or london as we would constantly feel watched, only i remember belfast as being much worse regarding surveillance and helicopters. sarah palin told alaskans to shoot wolves from helicopters, as if helicopters are readily available. maybe they are. i've never been to alaska but i'd love to go, back to the darkness from which i am born. there is a rilke poem about that, once written in chalk on my ceiling.
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